My Apologies, but Thank You

A breath of fresh air; the final blow was another lesson learned to say the least. As you progressed into a new chapter, I tried my best to undermine the message. Not accepting the news, I tried to hide it. However, you knew more than what you allowed me to see. Showing me only bits and pieces, I had to put the puzzle together. As the bruises began to heal and the band-aids were ripped off, I began to understand the real you. I began to begin again...start a new chapter...and it was not news to you, for you already knew what was needed and how everything needed to play out.

Like a house of cards, I allowed you to just crumble. On the ground, I had to pick you up and restart the process of reconstructing the blueprints. Your smile kept me humble and your attention to detail kept me alert. I loved you more than yesterday and I will begin to love you more than today, tomorrow. I'm still learning. Forgive me for my lack of awareness, for I know now what I should have known then and I am constantly progressing.

Like reaching for the stars just to land on the moon, I had taken for granted the small things. As you tried to express yourself, I tried to shut you out. I will not allow you to be silenced again. You are my muse and the only inspiration I have ever needed. I apologize it took me so long to see it.

Going forward, I hope you can forgive me for my inconsistency and my inability to love you for who you truly were...who you are. All of your imperfections are perfect and your strength is beyond unwavering. You allowed me to make the mistakes that lead us here without interference or strife. You allowed me to make comprehensive decisions although there were times I didn't fully comprehend the circumstances. I understand why now. You wanted me to learn your weaknesses. And realize your strengths...and I appreciate the freedom. I respect your decision to let me make those mistakes...those choices. And I appreciate even more your current stance where you're determined to assist me in not making the same mistakes or bad choices again in the future.

As I see you coming into your own, I can only pray I allow you to breathe the fresh air instead of dimming your shine and keeping you locked away. You've always been beautiful to me. I apologize it's taken me so long to see just how much.

My apologies...but thank you.
You truly are a god send. You've saved the little bit of life I had left plenty of nights. I thank you. For never letting me give up on us. I thank you. Thank you.


...this story continues next time, on Letters to You...
x's & o's,
Rae <3